December 7, 2010 - A Day That Will Live in Infancy

I was watching Dr. Phil the other day and he said it was time to get rid of my anger - in particular my anger over December 7th, 1941, a day that shook the world and plunged us into the war. I can't imagine the lives of those who woke up that morning to everything that was familiar, all of life's rituals that we take for granted, suddenly erased by the bombings of a nation gone mad. But it's time. Time to let the anger go and forgive a nation. Otherwise, as Dr. Phil says, the anger wins. Hold on a second, mom's sending me an email.

Wait a minute, what the hell is this?

To be continued.

Cora Elizabeth Pape

December 7th, 2010

Daddy's Brain

As many of you know, daddy turned 50 last month. That's 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10.11.12.13,14,15,50. Every year daddy goes in to the hospital to see if there's any brain activity left, sadly he forgets what the answer is by the time he gets home.

Cora Elizabeth Pape

October 15, 2010

"I Hypnotize Daddy"

"Elephantitis"

Hey, look at me!! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!! I'm a rogue african elephant!!

Ha, ha, just kidding - it's really me Cora. April fool!!!

Cora Elizabeth Pape

April 1, 2010

My Grandma (The True Story)

It's time to write about another relative. Men are easy - see David Ransom on "How I won the war." Women, however, take a while to open up about their life experiences, but I think I know enough about grandma

(daddy's mommy) to give it a try.

Grandma was born in a little village in New York called Yonkers. In the 1940's a neighbor stopped by and pressed the doorbell; grandma's family was so poor that she leaned out the window and cried "Ding!" The neighbor laughed and quickly hired grandma to write a series of "you're so poor" jokes for Ed Sullivan's "Talk of the Town" column, a favorite being "We were so poor, for dinner my mother read us recipes." While being uproariously funny, the same joke also got her hauled before the HUAC committee where she thought she was going to be in trouble. Luckily for grandma she punched Lillian Hellman in the nose and was awarded the medal of honor instead.

While Ms. Hellman's broken nose endeared her to conservatives, it seriously hampered her new move to the theater. When she adapted "The Diary of Anne Frank" into a musical, grandma drew on her knowledge of poor

jokes to help flesh out the script and bring the much needed laughs. The show was a flop and grandma retired to raise a family. She moved from the town of Yonkers to Florida where they build oranges. In Florida she met Jerry Pape (daddy's daddy) and they quickly had two little boys - daddy and someone else. From there they moved back to New York so that grandpa Jerry could buy the New York Times every day and eat rye bread.

After 30 years of marriage, grandma and grandpa Jerry divorced, leaving grandma to reinvent herself as a figure skater. At night she would attend the theater where, during intermission, she would tell some of her jokes. It was during a Wednesday matinee of Our Town, starring Pat Buchanan, that she ran into her old friend grandpa Joe. Grandpa Joe had worked at CBS with Ed Sullivan in the 50's and he and grandma had forged a friendship. Pretty soon the two were dating and in 1996 they were married and lived happily ever after.

My Third Birthday!!

Well that was quick! Apparently after 18 months I've turned three.

Heeeeeeeeeeey... Wait just a second, something seems fishy here.

Cora Elizabeth Pape ( slightly bewildered )

January 24, 2010

Monkeying Around

In my last film "Silly Faces," (still available on Netflix) I tried to show the dichotomy of war and silliness; perhaps no one did this better then the late Soupy Sales who had a pie thrown in his face for each fallen Vietnam vet. Rest in peace Soupy, you were one of this nation's greatest auteurs.

In my new film "Balcony" I try to explore the very delicate balance of being 20 stories in the air while dressed as a monkey - the symbol of the banana and its relevance to our escalation in Afghanistan cannot be overlooked. While I rarely talk about the deeper meanings behind my films I think you will all find it quite moving to see the dog (i.e. Afghanistan) reject the monkey.  It's as though the dog is saying, "Go away, monkey!  You can do no good here."  I am saddened.  I turn and walk the length of the balcony once more.  I urge all of you to vote for "Balcony" as best picture of the year as it transcends the label of documentary. I cannot be categorized!

Cora Elizabeth Pape

Nov. 1, 2009 

                     

                                                      

Elvis Has Left the Building and Entered the Bathroom

Well my feud with Elvis has ended and I have to say he's much rounder than I thought.  When he sits around the tub, he REALLY sits around the tub.  But seriously folks, it's nice to have mommy back.  Now please avert your eyes as I step out of the bath.  

Cora Elizabeth Pape

(From the bathtub)

October 25, 2009

Why I Need A Mommy

It's this simple: babies need boundaries. Just because mommy is away doesn't mean that I should be able to do whatever I like. When I say "daddy, I'd like to read a book," a commonsense answer might begin with "where?" Mommy thinks that way, daddy doesn't. I will continue my boycott of Elvis music until my mommy is returned from Memphis unharmed.

Cora Elizabeth Pape

(Still sad in Brooklyn)

Oct. 20, 2009

What Tha'?

You know how every day since I was born mommy would come home from work and feed me milk?  Apparently that's all changed under the socialist Obama regime.  Now she just flies off to Memphis whenever she wants to have her picture taken at Graceland. Who knows when she's coming back.  And what if she comes back an Elvis fan of the Vegas years instead of the earlier Sun Records career when Elvis was truly relevant?  OMG!!  What if the milk is gone?  See this face?  I can keep it going for at least a year!  Bring milk or don't bother coming back.

Cora Elizabeth Pape

(The saddest baby ever)

Oct. 16, 2009

Run Boodles Run!

As most of you know, daddy's birthday was on September 25th; I'm okay with that in that it doesn't interfere with my schedule, when it does he'll have to change it. Mommy got daddy a mop and hid it in the closet last week. I knew the mop gift wasn't going to go over very well so I worked on something to distract him. As readers of my blog know I began walking on Fathers Day, admittedly it doesn't get the attention it used to but it gets me where I'm going. Now running, well, that would be the next logical step - I just looked it up,that was a pun. So I got to thinking, maybe if I learned to run daddy wouldn't beat mommy over the head with the broom in a dramatic fit of rage ( see blog 17 titled "Dustbuster This!!") When daddy's birthday came around I was ready.

Mommy gave daddy the present at dinner, which is never really a good idea around here (see blog 26 "Tofu This!!") Daddy didn't get angry, in fact he said it was a lovely mop and he was proud that his wife felt that he was man enough to handle a tool like that, and then he stared silently out the window wondering where the last 49 years had gone. I quickly scrambled down from my chair and grabbed his leg, he turned slightly so he could see me, and then I ran!! I ran into the kitchen and bedroom and hallway and  bathroom until daddy grabbed me and pulled me up into the air; he shouted "Boodles can run, Boodles can run!!" Then I kissed him on the cheek and he kissed mommy and we all snuggled up and watched "Cops" on TV.

Cora Elizabeth Pape

Sept. 28, 2009

The Boodles Tunnel

I just had the greatest idea!! I think I'm going to allow all of the neat things that I saw down in the grating float around my brain for another nineteen years, then I'm going to buy a lot of spraypaint and paint the images in a tunnel really large. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm... I wonder where I can find a tunnel.

Cora Elizabeth Pape

August 15, 2009