Recap

In summing up, here are a few things I've learned during my first year.

First off - breathing. Breathing's very important. As most of you know daddy was born with Hyaline Membrane disease which is a non-elasticity of the lung tissue, he was placed in an iron lung backwards for a year with his tiny little baby feet sticking out; he's currently optioning the story to Lifetime.

Speaking of breathing, mommy and daddy have me taking swimming lessons. When is common sense going to make a comeback in this family? I'm a year old, just because the other little lemmings want to walk off the cliff to the sound of nursery rhymes doesn't mean I have to.

In baseball you should be able to run to first base while still carrying the bat, I just think it would liven things up.

Grandmas. Grandmas are great, they're like parents only they pick you up whenever you ask.

I just found out I have 27 cousins on mommy's side of the family. They were very nice to me on my recent trip to Denver. I have no idea what their names are so I've numbered them. Number 12 could've paid a little more attention to me but the rest were quite nice.

Walking is a hoot! Who knew?

Cora Elizabeth Pape

July 24, 2009

My New Pet!

I've been begging mommy and daddy for a pet since the day I  first drooled, but they said no. Luckily I have a wonderful grandmother who got me a frog. Not like the kind of frog you see begging in front of a french restaurant, little cup in their webbed hands, no legs. My frog is enormous and lets me sit in his mouth and play!

Happy summer everyone!

Cora Elizabeth

July 6, 09

Reporting from my balcony.

Father's Day 2009

I wanted to give daddy a big father's day present today, but mommy wouldn't let me go to the store to buy him his favorite Robitussin (daddy drinks all four flavors).  I was left without a present, which meant I had to think on my feet (pun definitely intended).  Just for the record, I'm a crawler.  I like the feel of the fine plush carpet beneath my knees and the firm wood floor under my fingers.  Walking makes me feel disconnected from the tangible realities of our world.  But that's just me.  Daddy needed a present, and as I mentioned before, mommy was not cooperating.  So I walked.  Not just once, or twice, or even three times, but whenever he called.  I'm exhausted.  I see this as a metaphor for the demonstrations in Iran.  If everybody just drank Robitussin, and walked for their daddies, it would be a wonderful world.  

Cora Elizabeth

Blogging from her crib

June 21, 2009

"Kukla, Fran and Allah"

After watching President Obama make his historic trip to Egypt I decided to become a Muslim. It gets a little tricky, five times a day I have to kneel and pray to Mecca (see above photo.) Daddy told me that last month was Ramadan - or as he says Ramadamadingdong, that meant I couldn't keep up my blog; not because of religious doctrine, I was just too tired from fasting. Turns out daddy was wrong about the date.

Praise Allah

Cora Elizabeth

June 5, 2009

"Penny For Your Thoughts"

Daddy thought it would be funny to post this photo and tell everybody that I was blind and begging for change but then mommy and I talked him out of it. So, to repeat, I am not blind and I am not begging for change. I mean, a little change wouldn't hurt - but no, I am absolutely not begging.

Cora Elizabeth

April 25, 2009

Pun Fun

Mommy has never made a pun before -- although she tries really hard, they just come out all wrong. For example, one time while watching golf, mommy said, "what a racquet!" and daddy said, "that's tennis, dear." On March 25, 2009, mommy not only made a pun, but it was captured on video! I have posted it here for everyone to witness it; who knows when we'll see another.

Cora Elizabeth (blushing)

March 25, 2009

Close Shave!

Okay, funny story. You know how babies (of which I am one) love to imitate their parents? Well, the other day I was inspecting the bathroom floor that mommy mopped while daddy slept - wouldn't you know it, she missed two spots; but I've digressed. As I'm eyeing the toilet paper - which will be all mine one day - daddy whispers "Psst..Hey kid, you ever try shaving?" Well of course I hadn't tried shaving, although I did experiment with a loofah once - but that was a long time ago and the documents are sealed in that case.

Daddy leaned over and said "Here you go kid, knock yourself out, and don't tell your mother!" And with that he handed me the shaving cream and off I went, rubbing the cream all over my face. Then daddy said you'll need something to take that off with and he handed me his Gillette Super Mach 27 razor. The 26 extra blades are in case you miss the hair with the first one. Well shaving sure is fun!! Downward on the cheeks and upward on the neck. Anyway, after we got back from the hospital mommy yelled at daddy, and daddy yelled back that there would be no permanent scar, and sure enough there isn't. But I don't think I'll shave again.

Cora Elizabeth

March 14, 2009

Happy Birthday Joe!

Daddy says it's Grandpa's 80th birthday and we should perform a

roast, I've written the following jokes for his amusement.

1. Grandpa's so old he's stopped teething!!!

2. Grandpa is so old that his crib mate was Methuselah!!

3. Grandpa is so old that he knows how to walk on two legs!!! 

    Oh, don't get me started !!

Drive safely everybody and thanks for coming.

Cora Shecky Pape

Mar. 11, 2009

Grandfava!

As most of you know, daddy made me a mobile for Christmas that featured many of my relatives. He has asked me to write abrief description of each person's life, starting with Grandfava.

Grandfava is mommy's daddy. He was born in the 1940s in a far away land called Iowa; that decade was a wash for him. In the 1950s he dreamed of being a professional baseball player, but while he missed out on that he turned out to be terrific at girls' dodgeball. Grandfava was so good that there are still many adult women in Iowa with funny noses that remember him. Sadly Grandfava injured his shoulder while reading "Seduction of the Innocent" to learn which comics to burn, and to this day he dreams of opening the first museum dedicated to girl's dodgeball.

In the 1960s Grandfava went to war. After winning a competition with members of his platoon by spelling "doppleganger," Grandfava became a spy. He still keeps some of the advanced spy tools from the cold war. He has a pen that squirts ink on your shirt only to have it disappear ten minutes later. He also kept his fake plastic puddle of vomit - very important for a spy. In 1967 he was awarded the medal of valor for cracking the code of Petula Clark's hit "Downtown." Many men died after hearing the song more then ten times; this was considered a turning point in the war!

Grandfava came home in the 70s and went to school on the GI Bill. He received his degree in teaching people how to drive and to this day offers advice to many young drivers on the road.

Cora Elizabeth Goodwin Pape

Feb. 7, 2009

MIRK the Great!

As you all know my daddy is a very famous graffiti artist, that's

right, his name is CRASH - no, I'm just kidding. Not a day goes

by when I don't say "Daddy, when will you paint my name on a

shirt?" He always says he'll do it but then he starts drinking the

Robitussin and the day slowly fades away. Then I put the blanket

over daddy and turn on the wii.

I never thought I'd get my own t-shirt until the other day when

the mailman bought us a package - daddy tipped him a quarter

and then opened it up. After letting me eat the wrapping paper 

he pulled out a beautiful shirt painted by a real graffiti writer from 

France named MIRK. Daddy said we should immediately put it on

ebay and sell it, that's when mommy came home. Mommy said I

could keep the shirt and wear it whenever I want.

Thank you MIRK, you're a better graffiti artist then daddy will ever be!

Cora Elizabeth

Feb. 5, 2009

First Sled Ride

So daddy turned to me and asked me if I wanted

a helmet, wrist guards, knee pads, mouth piece

and a stunt double. I said no way daddy!! We're kicking

it old school!! And then he dropped me.

Next time I get the stunt double.

Cora Elizabeth

Jan. 18, 09

From the slopes of Fort Greene Park.

Christmas Dinner

Christmas dinner in San Francisco, a blessed event with

cherubic kids singing carols at the door and the entire Ransom

family dressed to the nines - and then there's my dad.......

The in-laws must be so proud.

Cora Elizabeth

Dec. 25, 2008

On assignment in San Francisco.